(Extracted edited from a real coaching conversation transcript and is shared with the permission of the client)

Client: I need clients!

Coach: Why?

Client: I need the money!

Coach: Why?

Client: I gotta feed my family.

Coach: Why?

Client: We gotta eat to survive! (Isn’t it obvious?)

Coach: Really? To eat, you need money, and to get money, you need clients.

Client: Yes, it’s a basic business principle. (What aren’t you getting here?)

Coach: So if you don’t have clients, you don’t have money.

Client: Yes.

Coach: Right now, where is your money to eat and survive coming from?

Client: My husband supports us.

Coach: So you have money for food? You are surviving?

Client: Yes, but I’ve gotta contribute.

Coach: Okay, so you need clients to contribute. What if you don’t contribute?

Client: Then I’ll feel like a failure. Unworthy.

Coach: What did you do with your body just then?

Client: Slumped down and a little forward.

Coach: So now we are at the real issue. You need clients to feel good, successful, and worthy.

Client: Yes.

Coach: What shifted with your body now?

Client: It feels like a relief. I’m still slumped but I can breathe. I want clients so that I can feel good, worthy, and successful. Wow! That feels like a lot to place on one person. So much pressure on a client.

Coach: Yeah, a transaction – give me your money so that I have worth. How would you be in your body if you felt worthy?

Client: (adjusts posture)

Coach: Can I point out what I see? You’re upright, your belly looks relaxed, and you’re looking straight at me. What’s different now that you feel your own worth?

Client: I see my clients as people that I can serve, instead of them serving me. (Smiles.)

Coach: Good. Now what is the real question?

Client: How can I serve people? In what way can I serve them?

Coach: Great. How do you want to proceed with that?

Client: How can I be of service? Just right now. Not a big plan, not the big dream of a successful coaching business or even a goal. How can I serve?

And the journey continues, one insight at a time.

Conclusion:

This conversation demonstrates how surface-level concerns often mask the deeper emotional needs.  Understanding that that the need for self-worth was the true motivation here, we were able to make a transformation not just an action plan.

Also note the physical shifts that took place (slumped to upright).  Profound and lasting change is possible when we include the body-mind and not just the habitual patterns of thinking.